20210124u Day 390: Personal Observations

2021-0124u-1200 Austin, TX

I wasn’t planning to write today. Something seems to be bubbling up and I’m not sure what it is. I hope that by writing my thoughts down now, whatever it is will reveal itself.

I just got off the phone with my beloved. We had a somewhat heated discussion about white privilege due to my not accepting my beloved’s belief in the importance that white privilege has played in benefiting me throughout my life. We found common ground in agreeing that racism exists in the world and the world would be better if it did not. We also agreed that many white people have benefited from white privilege. We also agreed that I have also benefited from white privilege. However, we disagreed as to the extent that white privilege played a role. I believe that the vast majority of my personal achievements would have been possible regardless of my race or skin color. I even believe that there’s a chance I may have benefited additionally as a minority due to affirmative action programs in existence during my education and early career. As I type this however, I’m becoming aware of certain times in which I felt “blessed”, or lucky, and I’m wondering now if my luck was due to the color of my skin, or my race, or being male, or some other discriminatory factor. I have to admit that there were times in my life that I have received large benefits and have not really been able to logically explain or understand from where these benefits came. I can accept the possibility that white privilege, male privilege, religious privilege, or some other privilege was a larger factor than I have previously believed.

Before my heated discussion, I watched a few videos – a press briefing from the new white house administration, and a couple videos on financial bubbles forming due to the easy money flowing through the system in response to the COVID-19 pandemic. I was pleased to hear Dr. Fauci present a reality that felt in alignment with the reality I believe to be true. I especially liked when he answered a question by saying he didn’t know the answer and that the Biden administration was adopting a policy of only answering questions for which there is a known answer – not making something up on the spot just to have an answer. For the financial videos, I was glad to see Dr. Ron Paul doing well on Kitco news and still promoting liberty, reduced government and sound monetary policy. I’m attracted to him because he does not pledge allegiance to either political party and has a consistent set of beliefs. I don’t agree with all of his beliefs, but at least I can follow his logic when he explains why he holds them. One of the other videos was an interview by Bloomberg news of an individual who seemed to be reading a prepared statement warning Robinhoodlers and Stonks purchasers that one day the FED will not come to their rescue.

Also, today, like every day this year, I had a conversation with my Aunt who is on the board of directors of my condo HOA. At the end of 2020, like a final kick in the ass, our HOA found out that our management company had been stealing our money for the last 5 years and that we were broke with over $30K in debt. I’m now in a universe in which I’m working full-time helping our HOA get back on it’s feet. I hope to use this full-time effort I’m putting forth to tunnel to a universe in which I’m putting in similar effort towards something meaningful AND also getting paid for it.

What are the chances? I just checked to see what was happening on Nov 1, 2016, the day that $25K was moved from the HOA money market to checking. The next day another $25K was moved and then all $50K was moved out of our control to another HOA. This was Election Day 2016! The same time period when most people around the world felt a huge shift from the normal time line to a very unexpected time line. The conclusion of this fraudulent activity ended about the same time that Trump left office. What are the chances? Synchronicity.

20201212S Day 347: Has it really been 150 days since I last blogged?


My Tarot draw tonight at my Aunt’s birthday party

Today was an early celebration of my Aunt’s 75th birthday. I cooked a frittata with onions, roasted garlic, spinach, chicken sausage, broccoli, shiitake mushrooms, cooked sweet potato, and feta. This was our breakfast, along with mimosas. Her daughter and son-in-law joined.

I then snuck in a trip to Barton Springs. The cold water and the hot sunlight combined to make a enjoyable experience. As I walked in, I remembered that I needed a mask. I had no idea where my mask was. I normally keep it in my car. I didn’t want to walk all the way back to my car and so I imagined the universe in which I forgot to put it back in my car and it was instead in the bag that I used the last time I came to Barton Springs. I unzipped the bag pocket and reached inside with about 90% confidence and found myself 10% surprised that the mask was there! I then walked back to the gate and had my temperature checked while I signed my name and phone number in case I needed to be contact traced due to any covid exposures that day. There were two cups of pens – clean and dirty. I asked if I could use one of the “dirty” pens and, after getting a “whichever you prefer” answer, I signed my name with one of the dirty pens and put it back in the dirty pen cup. There were only about 5 people swimming laps in the pool and about 30 people sun bathing. I almost didn’t go to Barton Springs because I was planning to go the next day. I just now checked the weather and tomorrow looks like rain – so I will likely not go tomorrow. That also means no ecstatic dance under the monkey tree.

Speaking of ecstatic dance under the monkey tree, there was a planned dance last wed there which only lasted a few minutes before it stopped by the police who said that a permit was needed. I had wanted to go to it, but changed my mind at the last minute. I wondered how much the future shutdown had on my feeling of my mind changing. I have been using a framework of bi-directional time in which cause and effect and proceed in both directions of time. It helps me to understand why I might decide not to go to a dance that is later canceled. Who wants to go to a dance that is canceled? Actually, I kinda wish I had gone now.

It’s been a wild 150 days since I last blogged. My experience has been one of imagining two different sets of universes continuing to collide. This is how I understand why about 25% of the U.S. population believes that Trump not only won the presidential election, but that Trump will be staying on as president for a second term.

Speaking of politics, today I had a wish that Biden (in the 75% of universes around us in which he becomes the next U.S. President) establishes the “Biden doctrine of bi-partisanship”, which becomes a doctrine for the foreseeable future. In this doctrine, Biden uses the power of the pocket veto to send a clear message that he will only sign bi-partisan legislation. Any bills arriving on his desk which are voted closely along party lines would just sit in a stack. Only bills with at least 20% or so support from the minority party would be considered. A byproduct of the Biden Doctrine would be that the centrist in each party would gain power at the expense of the extremists. A new power block would be created, which would slowly (over 50+ years or so) lead to the formation of a third “Centrist” party.

In other news, I deleted Twitter from my phone a couple days ago. This was surprising easy to do and definitely life changing – having an immediate effect reducing the amount of time I spend on my phone. While I did compensate a bit by surfing on Facebook instead, Facebook has never really grabbed my attention and so I’m now in a space where I have extra time. I credit the deletion of Twitter for having time and energy to begin writing blog posts again.

The Tarot card reading that I received tonight also motivated me, along with a text from J about the Geminid meteor shower tomorrow night on the date of the new moon. Now I just need a dark place from which to view it!

20200715W Day 197: Soulmates – Sensual, Emotional, Intellectual, Sexual, and Spiritual


I’m still on a high from a sweet, impromptu dinner party last night with a friend and her daughter that I haven’t seen or connected with since before the pandemic. I decided to text her yesterday and she video called me right back, which led to a dinner at my place with my Aunt also. As she came to the door, I pondered inviting her in only for a split second as I felt the energy in my body. My brain quickly did a calculation from my energy that this was a “four 9” interaction, meaning that 99.99% chance all would be ok and no coronaviruses would be spreading around in my house. She asked if I wanted a hug, and consistent with the odds, I gave her a nice long hug.

We then went to the pool and swam and talked. I shared some of the thoughts on long-term relationships that have been swirling around my brain lately. As I shared with her, I now share with you…

Many people often talk about finding their soulmate, which is often described as someone with whom they want to spend the rest of their life, and beyond. Those who have found their soulmate are envied by many who have not. One’s soulmate is assumed to be very rare with some people believing that each person has only one soulmate for them. Others believe perhaps there are only a handful of soulmates on the Earth for them. On the other extreme are people who believe in an unlimited number of soulmates, and also people who disbelieve in the very concept of a soulmate.

To investigate the question of soulmates, I thought it would be helpful to dig into the different ways in which people feel a “soulmate” type of connection.

  1. Sensual Soulmates – Two people can have an attraction to one another that occurs purely through their senses. Often, but not always, the first sense by which we know someone is through sight. We see them in person, or a video, or even a photo, and feel an immediate attraction. When we see them move, our eyes follow their movement. A second common sense we use to detect our sensual soulmate is smell. How someone smells to us affects how physical close we want to be with them. Related to smell is taste. While we don’t often going around tasting our friends, tasting our sexual partners does occur. Taste for friends would often be limited to sweet kisses on the mouth or cheek. Taste for lovers would include full body kisses. The fourth sense is audial. Hearing someone’s voice or their laugh can either annoy or entice us. And finally, the sense of touch is very important. This includes cuddling, holding hands, stroking each other’s bodies, running fingers through hair, and feeling the energy of someone while in close contact. The degree to which two people or sensual soulmates is determined by the degree that two people have a high compatibility with each of these five senses.
  2. Emotional Soulmates – When two people feel the freedom to share the fullness of their emotional expressions with each other, without judgement or constraint, then this is an indication that they are strong emotional soulmates.
  3. Intellectual Soulmates – When two people get excited by the intellectual workings of each other’s mind, then this is an indication that they are strong intellectual soulmates.
  4. Sexual Soulmates – When two people dance well together, enjoy each other’s flirting, are aroused by sexual stories, fantasies and invitations from each other, and have “best sex of my life” on a regular basis, then the degree to which these are true represents the degree to which the two people are sexual soulmates.
  5. Spiritual Soulmates – When two people have a similar view of the world, have similar values and beliefs around higher powers beyond the material world, feel stronger in their spiritual beliefs and connected to a higher power when in the presence of each other, then the degree to which these are present presents the degree to which the two people are spiritual soulmates.

I believe most people would agree that you can strongly feel one of these different soulmate type of connections without strongly feeling all of them. I think the popular notion that soulmates are rare comes from an expectation that all of these must be mutually strong in order for two people to be “soulmates”. I prefer a more abundant definition of soulmate in which a strong soulmate has strength in any one of these different soulmate types of connection.

I think it’s important to add that even a strong soulmate connection in all five of these does not mean that two people should get married and have lots of children. A strong soulmate connection is necessary, but not sufficient, for a long-term relationship of any sort.

20200515F Day 136: Mountain Biking Down Aptos Fire Road

Looking South to Rio Del Mar Beach, Aptos, CA – May 15, 2020 (Credit: SurfingTheUniverse.com)

20200515F Santa Cruz, CA – Today was a good exercise in feeling into the different universes around me in order to get to the one that I wanted. It was difficult to find the beginning of the biking trail where my brother was waiting. My brother had given me directions that led me and my beloved down a dirt road. Multiple times I felt like I was on the wrong road and wanted to back down the road or turn around whenever there was room. Each time, my beloved said “No, keep going so we can find your brother”, and I would continue. In the moment I continued, I believed I was on the right road but then shortly after I would lose faith again. I also had not really been excited about going mountain biking whereas my beloved was much more excited to go. It’s interesting to look back now and see how our different interest levels allowed us to be surrounded by a different number of universes.

It’s obvious to me now that my beloved was surrounded by more universes in which we did go mountain biking. This allowed her to more accurately feel whether or now we were on the correct road and should continue. She knew also if we turned around, we would be closer to the universe where we didn’t go mountain biking.

I’m glad that we eventually found my brother and family and friends. It was a fun ride down to the beach!

20191223M Day -8: Lady Bird Lake Reflections from Austin, Texas

Lady Bird Lake – Austin, TX – Dec 23, 2019 (Credit: SurfingTheUniverse.com)

20200515F Santa Cruz, CA: Back in December, I was in Austin. My beloved flew in for the holidays. We walked along Lady Bird Lake during the day. It was a beautiful sunny day.

Lady Bird Lake – Austin, TX – Dec 23, 2019 (Credit: SurfingTheUniverse.com)

Meanwhile, the press was reporting on how this flu season was turning out different than past flu seasons. I’m not sure who decided that the unusual flu season would be the focus of the news and medical press on this day. Here is an article that caught my eye:

Rare B Flu Strain Causing Early Surge This Season from passporthealthusa.com

Here are some quotes of interest:

Dave Osthus is a statistician and flu forecaster at Los Alamos National Laboratory. Osthus explained that the current “2019/20 season is already worse than three of the past 20 flu seasons ever were, and the worst part of the flu season—historically late December through early March—hasn’t happened yet.”

especially this one ending with “worst than imagined”:

Looking at the influenza trends, the CDC was able to publicize that the flu season has “about a 40% chance of a peak in late December, a 30% chance of a peak in January, and a 25% chance of a peak in February.” These numbers may change as the season continues, but the outcome will remain the same or even become worse than imagined.

Looking back in time, it was reported in May that the 2018-2019 flu season was also “unusual”:

The just-ended 2018-2019 flu season was relatively mild compared to the last season, during which nearly 80,000 people in the U.S. died of flu-related illness.

The 2018-2019 season has been unusual, though, because the flu came in two waves: one that peaked at the end of December, and a second that peaked in early March.

It seems that “unusual” flu seasons will be the usual for the foreseeable future.


20200510u Day 131: Happy Mother’s Day – Selected Poetry from my Mom

I talked to my Mom on Mother’s Day. I feel blessed to have such a wonderful Mother who taught me to view the world through a lens of innocence and acceptance. I found some poetry that she wrote. Here are a few of her short poems that spoke to me now.

This morning she woke up married
Tonight she will go to bed a widow
A whole life changed by a single day
A whole family changed by a single hour
A heart that stopped
A life gone
A father, a husband
made now only of memories

These two short one seems quite relevant:

Dear God,

If there’s anyone down here who can stop this madness,
please talk to that person quick.

Why is it we learn too late
the knowledge we need to know

and these two speak about my feelings as we come out of shelter-in-place:


Freedom–we live it
But we really haven’t tasted it
Not like the people of East Berlin
They know the true taste of freedom
They are drinking it now
November 9, l989


I have learned how to live
And I’ve learned how to give
And I’ve learned how to smile
with the sun
I’ve learned how to walk
Without you by my side
And I have even learned how to run
But now, what I want to do
Is put on my hiking shoes
And do you see those mountains way out there
I want to aim for the sun
And climb them one by one
And feel the wind clouds touch my hair

and finally, some thoughts for this year:


Let this be the year
I learn more than I ever did
Let this be the year
I keep silent and listen
Let this be the year
I let my pencil talk

20200504M Day 125: Happy 43rd Birthday Mike Schaupp – RIP and May the Force of your Spirit Live On

Michael Schaupp, also known by his musician name Jackson Danny, was born in Carmel County on May 4th, 1977.

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He was riding his 1996 Honda motorcycle northbound on Highway 17 around 1:25 pm, Dec 10th, 2013, when a woman driving a black 1994 Ford Explorer SUV made an illegal turn onto the highway and drove into his path. Schaupp hit the SUV and was thrown 20 feet across the roadway. He was taken to the hospital where he died of his injuries. The woman left the scene of the accident and abandoned the vehicle. Three months later, she turned herself in and was charged with a felony count of hit-and-run causing injury or death. The following song was played at her trial. It had been performed by Mike a few months before his death. The name of the song and the woman – Joline.

In the song, Mike changed the lyrics a bit. It is interesting to see the changes he made. Here are the lyrics as best I can reconstruct them – some changes of interest in bold from the original song by Dolly Parton. The “To never love again” change is in a stanza that is a mixture of two different stanzas.

Jolene … Jolene … Jolene … Jolene
I’m beggin you don’t take my man
Jolene … Jolene … Jolene … Jolene
Please don’t you take him can
Please don’t take him cuz you can


Your beauty is beyond compare
Flamin’ locks of auburn hair
Skin of ivory … eyes emerald green
Smile is like a breath of spring
Voice is like a summer rain
I cannot compete … Jolene

Jolene … Jolene … Jolene … Jolene
Beggin’ you, don’t take my man
Jolene … Jolene … Jolene … Jolene
Please don’t take him cuz you can
Please just take him cuz you can


And you could have your choice of men
To never love again
You don’t know what it means to me, Jolene
I had to have this talk with you now
My happiness depends on you
Whatever you decide, Jolene

Jolene … Jolene … Jolene … Jolene
I’m beggin’ you don’t take my man
Jolene … Jolene … Jolene … Jolene
Please don’t take him cuz you can
Please just take him cuz you can

Mike’s fatal accident was part of a story written by Jennifer Wadsworth for the July 8-15, 2015 edition of Metro, a local newspaper in San Jose, CA. The story was about Lupin Lodge, where Joline worked and/or lived at the time. For some reason, the original link for the story goes nowhere and there is a shorter version of the story. Here is an excerpt of the original story:

Michael Schaupp left Santa Cruz around midday Dec. 10, 2013, for a 2pm class at Ex’pression College in Emeryville. The 36-year-old father and design student had driven the same northward Highway 17 route countless times on his 1996 Honda VLX motorcycle. Drivers who shared the winding mountain road with him that day said he looked at ease, like an experienced rider. And he was.

But about a half-hour into his commute, a 1994 Ford Explorer shot out onto Highway 17 from Idylwild Drive in a southbound arc that cut off Schaupp and sent him hurtling to the shoulder, according to detailed reports by California Highway Patrol officers. A trail of blood plotted his trajectory. The Explorer’s 47-year-old driver, Joline Fay Cohen, scrambled out of the SUV just as another car pulled up to the scene.

Oh my God, I just killed that guy,” she told the witness, per the CHP. “Did you see him hit my car? What should I do?” Without waiting for an answer, she hopped back in the driver’s seat and drove away. A second witness pulled onto the shoulder and put a blanket on Schaupp, protecting him from the winter chill until help arrived.

A short distance north, Cohen, in a long black coat and dry dirty- blonde hair, left her car at Bear Creek Road and began walking along the shoulder, the collision report continues. Campbell resident Brandon Rohzen told police that he picked her up in his minivan, thinking she’d just got into a fender- bender and could use a lift. From the passenger seat, he said he remembers her calling Lupin’s office landline. “I hit somebody,” she shouted hysterically. “I think they might be dead.” Horrified, Rohzen slammed on the brakes and told her to get out of his car.

Schaupp died two days later at Stanford Hospital. Yet three full months passed before Cohen surrendered herself to authorities on hit-and-run charges that landed her in a Central Valley women’s prison.

Lupin residents claim Lori Kay harbored a fugitive during that time, leaving them no choice, they said, but to tip off CHP investigators to Cohen’s whereabouts. As a live-in assistant for several years to Lori Kay, Cohen ran errands, oversaw the main office and, according to CHP tipsters, had a reputation for smoking meth and driving erratically. Lupin management tried to distance itself from the damage, announcing online that the club had fired her as office employee before the crash. “She was allowed to stay because there are such thing as tenancy laws,” Lori Kay explained.

But the tragedy raised more questions about Lupin’s hiring practices. In an ongoing wrongful death lawsuit against Cohen, Schaupp’s mother, Denise, and 19-year-old son, Caleb, also name Lupin as a defendant. The Schaupp family attorneys claim that Cohen was acting “within the scope of her employment” while driving the
SUV and that Lupin is vicariously liable because it employed her “with knowledge of her history of reckless driving, erratic behavior and substance use.”


Obituary of Michael Carl Schaupp

Born in Carmel, CA Mikey: heart of lion, strength and steadfastness of a bull, playfulness of a laughing monkey, sensitivity and wisdom of an elephant, protective and nurturing as a mother bear, connected and ethereal as a spirit bird, and humble as a man. Born with big dark eyes and a deep gaze, Mikey often surprised others with his level of attentive observation as a baby. As a lil’ one, he loved the outdoors, preferring to sleep outside under the stars and up in his treehouse. A smile, soulful kind eyes, enduring loyalty and readiness to help were his tokens of friendship. His voice rang clear with passion, touching the core of life’s beauty, pain and mystery. With each song he wrote, he invited the possibility for a better world. Deeply embodied, he was a model for connection to one’s integrity and truth. His quick wit &amp; easy sense of humor were medicine to our hearts. He understood that life, love, and friendship were a fragile and important gift, and if nurtured and protected, could all be eternal. Your love Dana Schlick, mother, Denise Schaupp, and beloved son will together forever embody your energy. May your journey to the next life be filled with adventurous trails, beautiful music, freedom and so much love. You radiated in this world and you’ll shine as a star in the next. All who knew you were so blessed to have you for 13,373 days. Your embrace of love, friendship, and generosity will live on in our hearts, memories and in everything that we do. He lived the lyrics from his song To Live, may we do the same: To love my world, To give myself, To live and live and live. Memorial will be on the Winter Solstice, Saturday, December 21st, from noon to sunset, at Seymour Marine Discovery Center. Please bring your favorite dish to share, and something that withstands the elements that reminds you of him (rock, stone, wood- creativity welcomed!) for a collaborative memorial sculpture.

2020 Day 19: My longest run 4.67 miles and chair entanglement

My best race in high school was the half-mile and as a freshman, my fastest time was 2:08.  I ran the mile also and my best time was 5:35.  I stopped competing after my freshman year and stopped regular running. I remember waking up early on my 18th birthday, having not run for a long time, and just jumping out of bed and running out the door for as long and far as I could. I’m not sure how long that was, but likely under four miles. I felt like three miles was my limit for races. My fastest 3-mile race was 20:20 and my only 4-mile race was around 35 minutes.

Today was a beautiful day – sunny, windy, and chilly. I thought I’d try to run faster than my last 3 mile run. However, when my first mile came in at 8:20, I began to feel a different universe. I remembered that last run I was able to run longer than 3 miles. It was feeling like today was going to be about extending my distance rather than decreasing my time. I tried a different trail and ran far into the woods so that I knew it would take me at least 4 miles total to get back to where I started. I was definitely running a slower pace. I imagined this was because I was weighted down by the extra clothes I was wearing to keep warm. I checked my 4.33 mi time and it was 13 minutes slower (at 42:18) than my 3.33 mi time last run. My time for 4.67 miles was 44:25 (9.29/mi pace). So by my Apple watch tracking, I ran the last third of a mile in 2:08, the same time as my best half mile. I did have more energy at the end of my run but I find it difficult to believe I ran at a 6:24/mi pace, so I question either the Apple watch or my memory. I do believe though that there is a universe where both my memory and Apple watch were working and I DID run at 6:24/mi pace. So my next challenge will be to return to (or find) a universe where I can run at a 6:24/mi pace for at least one third of a mile.

A couple of days ago I gave away my couch to Goodwill. I also donated my bed frame. I wasn’t completely sure how I was going to fit my couch in my RAV4, but I knew I needed to take it apart. There were a couple of metal bars connecting two recliner chairs. As I measured the width of the chairs at 43″, I realized that my RAV4 was barely too small. There was only about 1′ of 43″ width in the back and I needed 2′ of 43″ width. I pondered putting the couch on the roof of the RAV4. While all of this was going on, I saw a neighbor and asked if he could help me load my couch pieces. When he realized that my RAV4 was too small, he offered his larger SUV. The chair did barely fit into his Honda Passport. We then went down to the women’s shelter and found out they didn’t take furniture. We then went to Goodwill, dropped off the chair, and went back home to get the other chair. When we returned to the Goodwill, the guy at the loading doc told us someone had already come and taken the chair! For some reason, at this point I wondered if this is what entangled particles that are separated feel like. Did the person who took the chair think he was getting a complete chair? I didn’t really pay attention to which chair piece we took to the Goodwill first, but I knew when we took the second chair that the first piece must have been the opposite version. My understanding of entanglement is that for this analogy to be complete, both chairs need to be in a both states at the same time (say Left chair and Right chair) until the true state of the chair is “revealed”. So if Goodwill was in Quantum Land, then the chair we dropped off would be in both states and anyone getting the chair wouldn’t know which state it was in until the state was “revealed” at some future point in time/space. If a second person picked up the second chair we dropped off at Quantum Land Goodwill, then they also wouldn’t know the state of the chair until it was “revealed”. Since the chairs were entangled, then once one chair state was revealed, the other chair state would be known to be the matching state. For the purposes of this analogy, I’m going to say that the state of the chair is revealed whenever someone is sitting in the chair and is successful in reclining it using the lever that is either on the left or right side of the chair. Before revealing, each chair looks like the reclining lever is switching back and forth between the left and right side of the chair in a random way. Once one chair is revealed, the other chair stops switching back and forth instantaneously and the recline lever is seen only on one side of the chair.

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2020 Day 1: Seeing is Believing – Good Morning New Universe!

I awoke this morning in a new universe – a new reality – a different dimension of reality – a parallel world. As I type this, I feel myself moving through these different dimensions – I feel the influence of the different dimensions in my body, in my mind, and in my soul.  I know from the memories of my experiences, and the feelings I get from imagining and sensing the memories of my experiences in parallel worlds, that reality is more than what I see. I know that much more is possible than what I believe based on only my memories of experiences from a single thread of reality.  I know that the stories I tell myself limit the choices I make. I know that when I open my mind to the possibility of new stories, and when I imagine and sense the stories from the totality of reality as I now experience it, then the number of choices I have seem unlimited.

What sensations do I have when I feel myself moving through different dimensions? In this moment, my body feels more awake than my mind thinks it should be.  It’s 0850 local time and I went to sleep after 0300.  I normally need at least 6 hours of sleep to feel rested.  There is also a slight anxious feeling in my chest and my jaw feels tight.  My throat was sore when I awoke in a way similar to a week ago, but now I notice it feels better.  Over the last week, my body has felt stressed on and off.  The story I’ve told myself is I have a cold or allergies. This fits a single thread of reality.

The affect on my mind of moving through different dimensions is also noticeable to me. My mind feels scattered and focused at the same time.  It’s a similar feeling to when I meditate in that I can focus on my breath (or whatever – I normally focus on the smoke signal like images I see when my eyes are closed) while my mind has random thoughts come and go through it.  What feels a bit different, is that the random thoughts are incomplete – they are not fully formed. I get more of a feeling of the thought rather than the thought itself.  It’s more like a dream state in which the details of the dream can fade quickly upon waking.  I just closed my eyes for a quick meditation to understand this better.  It’s like I’m being led on a guided meditation into the future and into parallel worlds.  I have brief images that pass through my mind and I can feel joy or sorrow – in my case I felt joy.  The joy came when I felt a universe in which I’m writing more, in which I’m describing more about my experiences being in this amazing reality which is so rich and full.  My mind is in problem solving mode now and is trying to figure out how to bring this joy closer – how to make it more likely that I write more.  I realize now that I have strayed a bit from my original intention to describe what it feels like in my mind to travel through different realities.  There is more for me to say about my mind, but my soul wishes to speak.

Language is limiting and is ironically the source of much miscommunication.  My soul is difficult for me to know and describe.  I use the word soul to represent my experience of oneness.  My soul is a seemingly independent entity that is created from and a part of the one universal soul of the universe.  I know my soul to stay with me – to be stable and consistent as I travel through different dimensions of reality. I expect to, and do, recognize my soul when I awake in a new universe. When I say that I feel the influence of different dimensions on my soul, I mean that I feel an increase or decrease in joy.  By joy, I mean a feeling of being on a right path – on a path that the soul finds pleasing.

I feel a need to also mention my spirit.  I could edit my words above to add spirit to the list of “body, mind, and soul”.  I’m deciding not to because I wish to keep these words in a less filtered and more channeled form. Unlike my soul, my experience of my spirit is one of ever changing. My spirit is like a flickering flame with different shapes, colors, sounds, intensities. My spirit is never exactly the same, although it often takes on similar forms. My spirit is the light energy that radiates from the mass energy of my soul.  By connecting with my spirit, I can sense all of the different realities that are surrounding me in multi-dimensional reality space.  I experience each flicker of the flame of my spirit as a different reality.

It’s 1005 and I now feel complete with this share of my experience now having arrived in what feels like a “far away” reality.  I’m curious if I have developed my universe surfing skills sufficiently to stay here for a while and explore or if this has been only a short trip.