2025-0102h-1750 Austin, TX
Five years ago, I talked about my struggle with beginning a new habit of daily blogging (Ref: https://surfingtheuniverse.com/2020/01/02/2020-day-2-feeling-a-short-trip-and-closing-the-wormhole-behind-me/). I am feeling a similar struggle today. An assertion I made then was that “reality is more than what I see”. We exist in a multi-dimensional reality. I continue to find this viewpoint helpful. For instance, it helps me stay grounded when there is chaos around me. It also helps me understand how easily miscommunication can occur. This brings up my topic for today – the importance of listening and the importance of being heard.
“Just left Dr have no voice”, my Aunt texted me earlier today. Without context, these six words, ordered as they are, can be interpreted in multiple ways. Pause now and make a note of your first interpretation. Then, consider a second and third interpretation. Can you imagine others? My first interpretation is that she has laryngitis or similar. I am biased though because I heard her talk yesterday and she was hoarse. Ignoring my bias, my second interpretation is that her doctor wasn’t listening to her. My third interpretation, is she is referring to herself when saying “Dr have no voice”. I can’t think of a fourth. Actually, if I remove everything I know about her I can think of a fourth one. It’s like the second one except Dr refers to her partner. She is breaking up with her partner because she feels that he (or she) doesn’t listen to her. She is also upset now and using voice-to-text to send the message to me as she drives somewhere. Did you come up with these same interpretations? Any others?
In this case, given my prior knowledge of the context, I felt near 100% sure in my first interpretation. In other past cases, I have been much less than 100% sure in my first interpretation. I have had friends ask me to interpret a text someone sent them. I have had friends misinterpret a text I sent them. I’ve misinterpreted texts sent to me. What’s my point here? My point is having a shared interpretation is critical for effective communication. Furthermore, active listening and feeling understood is critical for maintaining a healthy relationship. And finally, it’s a multi-dimensional world out there so cut yourself and others some slack when there is a miscommunication.
Going Deeper: Often when I listen, my mind is predicting what someone is going to say next. Sometimes, I even interpret someone to finish what I think they are going to say. I have learned that many people dislike the interruption, regardless of whether I’m right or wrong. It is still difficult for me to just listen without interrupting, but I’m getting better.
surfing the universe 